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07 July, 2010

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confusing mind

I'm really hoping this is true. Life at the moment is trundling along, but the future is really really foggy. Those interviews where they say things like 'Where do you see yourself in 10 years?'; I have no idea how to answer. Preferences for uni are in less than a month...and I'm stuck at a wall of undeciciveness (is that even a word?). I can't choose, and again, I don't want to make the wrong decision. It always comes down to two things, which can't be meshed together. Usually mutually exclusive.

I don't even know what I want. I never know. It's easier to avoid confrontation and just let things be. Do I have opinions? probably. But usually I dislike sharing them. Why? People think differently, they perceive you differently; just for saying this, or saying that. My music is a prime example. I listen to what I like, but I know there is probably nobody else in the world who has the same preferences as I do. Its too varied. Anyone who's seen my iPod would know. It kind of stresses me out, but I'm trying to get over it...

I try not to be too feelings-y on this blog...so sorry about that ^^

happy updates to follow (hopefully)

1 individual(s) who care enough to comment:

Anonymous said...

Having been there, done that last year...
The future will always be unknown. You never know what it may bring.

Don't worry about uni stuff. I didn't discover what I wanted to do this year until November last year when it just occurred to me that graphic design was what I wanted to do. I'm still not sure after one semester of uni where I want to be, but that's life, it's all about discovering yourself!

Don't worry about making the wrong decision. It's not like you're stuck with that choice for life. I have far too many conflicting interests such as psychology, science, fashion and graphic design, music and others. And so what if your friends all know what they want to do, they all planned it out in year 9 or year 10, or have been destined for that path since birth. It doesn't work like that. You can worry all you like in your head (I'm always indecisive!) but worrying's not going to help...

On music: I'm a classically trained singer who is known only for classical singing (guessing you've probably figured out who I am now :P). Now, I'm into heavy metal music, and just by the clothes I wear and my personality, a regular person would probably question why I listen to that kind of music.

So just because I listen to heavy metal, for example, should that mean I should wear black, chains, have an extreme hair colour and millions of piercings? Of course not! Now, I also happen to like hip-hop, Lady Gaga and 90's boybands. That's why iPods have so much storage!!

Anyway, hope it all goes well, and you do get several windows to change preferences. I must have changed at least twenty if not more times. The grown-ups make it all out to be a big deal. Really, it's not, and make what you make of it, but it's your future and nobody else's.

Apologies for rant - I get carried away so easily!